Inuyasha, the later years
by Kojime
Summary: A hysterical take on the mid life adventures of Inuyasha... PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Getting Ready for Adventure!

**Chapter 1: Getting Ready for Adventure!**

"Kagome! Where's my fucking chicken pot pie!" Inuyasha screamed from the couch in the living room as he lovingly scratched his man pouch. Kagome was of course naked- as she was forced to be when cooking food for Inuyasha. Inuyasha does not eat food that wasn't cooked by a naked woman. After an anal discharge, he waddled his way into the kitchen angrily. It had been a while since his heyday when he was racing across feudal Japan killing mad demons and banging 12 furry chicks a night (or trees with holes in them). He now sported a healthy beer belly with a small congregation of potato chip crumbs resting on it. In one hand he had a beer, in the other he held a furry porno mag.

"Those waffles aren't gonna make themselves!" he yelled, spewing un-chewed potato chips across the kitchen.

"But I thought you wanted Chicken Pot Pie!" Kagome pleaded.

"Shut up bitch!" his hand came down knocking Kagome's naked body into the oven. "I don't want to hear anymore of your whining!" he spit more potato chips at Kagome and threw his half empty beer bottle at her head.

"I'm sorry Iny baby," she was crying now, a bump formed from where the bottle struck her.

"I said SHUT UP!" Inuyasha slammed his fist into the doorframe and his pants fell down as he did. "Now I'm gonna start jerkin' it and if those waffles aren't ready when I'm done- I don't know WHAT I'm gonna do!" Inuyasha didn't waste any time in servicing his account right there in the doorway, half looking at Kagome and half looking at the magazine.

Weeping and injured, Kagome slowly pulled the waffle iron from the cupboard. As she started pulling the ingredients together, Inuyasha got bored of the porno and threw it on the ground.

'Bend over bitch, daddy's got a use for you!" He waddled over, his blubber swashing from left to right with each step. He punched Kagome in the back of the head, knocking her to the floor and began engaging in what most countries refer to as doggie-style bestiality. With each thrust, he lurched Kagome forward slamming her head into the oven which now had burnt and flaming chicken pot pies in it. Before long, he had slammed Kagome's head through the over door into the chicken inferno. Kagome's hair caught fire and she began to scream.

Luckily for her, Inuyasha was finished. Kagome ran around the kitchen screaming, trying to put the fire out in her hair.

"Idiot woman, stop running!" Inuyasha hollered. He grabbed a rolling pin and started beating Kagome's head until she was knocked unconscious. "Here, this should be refreshing," He put out the fire in Kagome's hair with a pee stream. "Ah, that beer goes right through ya, doesn't it?" He said to himself with a refreshed tone.

Inuyasha pulled up his pants and started back into the living room.

"I'm goin out you stupid hussy waffle making skank whore," He grabbed his old sword resting next to the TV and dragged it towards the front door. "I WANT MY FOOD READY WHEN I COME BACK THIS TIME!" He screamed as he slammed the door behind him.


	2. The Adventure Begins

**Chapter 2: The Adventure Begins**

(_Subtitle: Heart Attack!...The Battle Inuyasha can't win_.)

"Ugh...what happened?", gurgled Inuyasha as he awoke in his bed. His eyes brushed away some beef jerky as they opened, and his vision came into focus slowly as a familiar voice explained.

"You took three steps and had a heart attack, Inuyasha", explained Miroku, standing at Inuyasha's bedside with a smug smile. "Shippo found your fat ass". Clad in a business suit, stylish shades and hanging off of two fine-looking Phillipino hookers. Time had clearly been more kind to the monk than it had been to Inuyasha.

"GET OUTTA MY HOUSE YOU FUCKING QUEER!!", Inuyasha screamed through the shards of Pringles permanently lodged in his sixth chin.

"God...how did you ever get a beauty like Kagome, wide load?", mumbled Miroku, under his breath, before flashing his pearly whites at the Hooker on his left. She swooned.

"What did you - BLEARP - say, Monk?" Inuyasha said, in between belching. The ripples of his fat ran over his body in waves as he did, beginning to tear his shirt with each burp.

"I said...", began Miroku

"THAT'S RIGHT, YOU DIDN'T SAY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" roared Inuyasha, who made sure the last word in that sentence came out as a burp. "Was it YOU who slaughtered every demon in Japan with a magical sword, gay? I DON'T THINK SO! Where are you, Tetsu...Tasha...Tootsie Pop...whatever the hell you're called, Magic Sword...". Inuyasha found a stick at the side of the bed and began waving his pudgy, sausage-like appendage around, poking around searching for Tetsusaiga on the floor. He ripped a few loud farts while doing so.

"Well, no...", began Miroku.

"THAT'S RIGHT. Now tell me where Kagome is and get the hell outta my house." Inuyasha farted again.

"She's in the kitchen, unconscious and badly burned. And naked. Shippo's tending to her right now - you wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would ya Inuyasha?", replied Miroku, accusingly. Inuyasha was quiet for a moment, as he tried to think of a perfect comeback to such an inquiry. Finally, after belching so loud he knocked his stack of Red Bulls in the corner down, he responded.

"Hey Miroku; sorry to hear about your balls..."

"Wha - SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!". Miroku cried out in pain as he keeled over. Inuyasha wheezed mightily before thrusting his piglet-sized left fist swiftly into Miroku's crotch, quick to exhibit the killer instinct famous for taking down countless demons in his heyday. Miroku's Hookers were speechless, and knelt over to tend to their fallen sugar daddy.

"Why don't you come over here and sex up a real man, ladies!?!" Inuyasha roared, before letting loose a particularly wet-sounding fart. The hookers looked up at him, disgusted at the bed-ridden and bloated half-man, half-dog before them. Surprisingly, Inuyasha had a disgusted look on his face as well. "Oh no...," he began, "I think I'm gonna get diarrhea again!!", wheezed Inuyasha, in between some explosive farts. He began to furiously waggle his way about in his bed, desperate to get out. He yelled.

"Kagome!! Kagome!! Bathroom!!", he screamed. "I need something to shit in - where's your face!?!"

Without warning, he finally plopped out of his bed, and onto Miroku and company. "Ahhhhhhhh...nevermind!!", Inuyasha began, with a soft sigh of relief and a tinge of smug-ness in his voice...

"...This will do just fine..."

Those were the last words he said before a shower of explosive, burning fecal matter poured onto an unconscious Miroku and his soon-to-be-dead hookers. With his work done, Inuyasha ripped one last fart and settled down for a nap.


	3. In the Face of Evil

**Chapter 3: In the Face of Evil**

It wasn't the smell of the bodies beside him or the steadily growing sound of buzzing that jarred Inuyasha awake two days later. It was the burning sensation in his bladder.

"Kaaaaa-gooooo-meeeee!" he bellowed, "Daddy's god' go pee-pee nowwwww!" Regardless of whether Kagome heard or not, he didn't wait for her- he started going before he was finished with the sentence, "Uh-Aghhhh," he moaned as his uncontrolled boloney pony shot back and forth, spraying all over the place like a wild fire hose. He reached out slowly with his meatloaf arms, trying to grab a hold of it, but the distance between his finger tips and his man-hose was blocked by 600 pounds of flubber.

Fourteen minutes later, the stream ceased leaving Inuyasha in a puddle of his fluids. It was about this time that he noticed that he was no longer in his bedroom, where he passed out earlier- he was down in the basement. Looking up he saw a hole in the ceiling with a 15 foot diameter. The edge of his bed was half leaning over the edge. He had fallen through the floor. He continued to assess his current situation and looked to the left and right of him. The dead bodies of Miroku and his hoes were strewn about the basement floor, covered with Inuyasha's defecation and swarming flies.

Inuyasha took this in as if it was as something that happened everyday.

"God, how did flies get in here- fuck." As he stirred, the dozens of flies that had congregated on him in the last few minutes all dispersed temporarily as they became aware that he actually wasn't one of the dead bodies.

It was now that Inuyasha was ready to tackle an everyday adventure for him- getting up. It began with him bellowing out – "Blleeaargghhhhh, Giiyyeeearrghaaa!" and swing his arms back and forth wildly. This caused gas built up in his rolls of fat to escape in green fart like bursts. So as he was screaming and swinging his arms back and forth, farts were going off all over his body like Britain's 101st Royal Airforce was dropping a rain of explosives on Berlin. Except Berlin was smaller.

It was a solid sixteen hours before Inuyasha got the top half of his body far enough forward that he could use his stomach as a fulcrum to push his face down, and raise his feet up. At this stage is was just a matter of teetor-tottering back and forth enough so that he could swing his body into an upright position. There was an added challenge in the fact that he had covered the floor with 2 inches of urine, which made this ordeal one filled with bubbly splashing.

It was times like these that really tested the spirit of this former demon hunter- but there was no doubt that the spirit was still there. He had gotten himself to a standing position, and had done so without the help of the good for nothing bitch Kagome who was nowhere to be found- she certainly never responded to Inuyasha's urination SOS. In any case, accomplishments like this came at a price-

"I gotta shit…" Inuyasha uttered slowly, "bad…" Knowing that he would never make it up the stairs in time relieve himself, Inuyasha realized that he would have the kill this particular demon somewhere in the basement. Glancing around, he noticed something particularly peculiar hidden in the corner of the basement. Wedged behind a 20 in 1 Bo-Flex exercise machine that Inuyasha clearly forgot he owned- was a stone well- right in his basement!

"What the jumpin' jack fuck is a magic well doin' in my basement?" he said in an offended tone. "This makes less sense than Evan-fucking-gelion." He did his usual flailing waddle from one corner of the basement to the other. After three steps he vomited on himself explosively. Pushing the Bo-Flex out of the way, Inuyasha finally found himself standing in front of a well that looked so much like the magical ones he had come across on his many adventures.

"Well, it's not Kagome's face, but it'll have to do." He pulled his pants down and positioned his hershey hole over the pitch black darkness of the well which seemed to drop off into infinity.

"Gyyyyeaeeeeaaaargh!" The chaotic sound of anal explosions echoed throughout the basement, like a midnight German blitzkrieg.


	4. An Old Demon's Revenge

**Chapter 4: An Old Demon's Revenge**

"Bleeaaarrrgghh!!!" Wheezed Inuyasha heavily. His explosive diarrhea had returned in top form, and as he sat there, atop a magical well in his basement, grunting was the only manly thing he could do to control his fecal foe. "Gggoooooooaaaaarrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh!! Uuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!"

After about 19 or 20 minutes of groaning, screaming, grunting and squeezing his eyes shut, Inuyasha had decided enough is enough. "If Kagome's not gonna stop being unconscious to soak up some of my precious ass butter," thought Inuyasha, "then I'm wasting this stuff!!". Then a thought occurred to him: "'Wasting this stuff' eh? I should start charging her for the pleasure of getting shat on by me!!"

Inuyasha smiled at his brilliant idea, but then reality shot back. Inuyasha had fallen through his bedroom floor into his basement, and had flopped over to a magical well therein. Covered in shit, vomit and piss ("Like a REAL man", thought Inuyasha), he had now wasted several minutes at the whim of his uncontrollable bowels. "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!!" Inuyasha roared. His hamburger fists balled up and he began furiously pounding at his massive gut, which rippled like a swimming pool across his body with every blow.

"Ugh; not a good idea", said Inuyasha after 4 seconds of punching - he struggled to pull his fists out of the bean-bag chair that had once been his pecs. "Maybe you'll come in handy, Tootsie Pop", he said as he retrieved his sword from the floor next to the well. Several dozen flies began to buzz about when Inuyasha disturbed their resting place; several more died upon flying too close to Inuyasha and catching a wiff of the 700 pound pissy, vomity, crapping machine.

Suddenly, a high-pitched laugh was heard. It echoed about Inuyasha's basement like a ping pong ball. "Heeeeeeeeeeeheeheeheeheehee!!"

Inuyasha whipped his head about looking for the source of the sound in his dark basement - he heard a soft 'snap' when he did so. "Ow, another bone - well, I don't need a neck if it's gonna be too pussy to support my 80 pound head! What do you think I am, neck - a fucking hippie!?!" cried Inuyasha. For good measure, he punched himself in the throat to show his neck who was boss.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" inquired the mysterious intruder.

"Oh right, I forgot there was a **faggot **down here somewhere..." mumbled Inuyasha to himself. "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM!" he roared.

"Your downstairs bathroom!?!" Shot back the voice. Suddenly, a demonic burrito leapt out of the shadows and onto Inuyasha's 6-foot wide stomach. One eye was bigger than the other, and both were glowing red. An unidentifiable kind of meat was constantly dripping down between it's legs, looking all the more like it was crapping on Inuyasha's body as it spoke to him. It pointed an evil looking finger at the half-breed. "Look Inuyasha; just because you crap in it doesn't make it a bathroom!"

"Who the fuck...?" Inuyasha inquired. He looked at his magic sword...

"I am Sharokamon; the demon burrito! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeheeheehee!" squeeled the burrito, throwing its head back in a fit of maniacal laughter. "You created me when you used to come down here to hide from Kagome. You ate my friends while beating it to those furry pornos in the corner, but left me behind when you heard Kagome coming down. Now it's time to avenge my friends, Inuyasha! And by the way, you weren't grabbing your dick back then Inuyasha; it was just one of your stomach rolls; you probably couldn't see it because it was hidden beneath an even bigger one!"

Suddenly, two waves of fat came roaring at the burrito, crushing Sharokamon like a slice of cheese getting crushed in between two slices of bread in a sandwich.

"I guess you just got crushed by my dick then, fag!" Inuyasha prided himself on the enormous amount of control he had over his fat - in fact, it was probably the only thing keeping his man-tits from crushing his heart and killing him in his old age. "Oh, that reminds me; START BACK UP YOU LAZY SONOFABITCH!" he roared before punching himself in the chest. He listened intently for 12 seconds, "Ahh, another heartbeat. Take that, Grim Reaper! You pussy!"

POP! Shing, shing!

"What the fuck now?" yelled Inuyasha. He was quickly answered as he looked around. The stones that made up the well couldn't take the enormous of strain of holding up Inuyasha anymore, and had begun shooting out widely from under Inuyasha. With a loud "SMOP!" the greater part of the well exploded out from under him, and Inuyasha found his fat ass falling into the mysterious magical well, wondering where he would end up on his adventures next.

"I hope I don't land in my shit." thought Inuyasha as he tumbled through space and time.


	5. A Magical Ride

**Chapter 5: A Magical Ride**

Spinning through darkness, Inuyasha's gelatinous mass fell deeper and deeper into the depths of the seemingly endless well.

"God- OW- Damn- OW- Mother- OW- Fucking- OW- Shitty- OW- Burrito!" With every spin his body made, Inuyasha's head slammed into the stony side of the well, cracking apart his skull and sending sprays of blood every where. Each blow was degrading his face as well- damaging his eyes, breaking his nose, knocking out his teeth.

Due to his outrageous fatness, Inuyasha fell much faster than his diarrhea, and he eventually caught up to it.

"No- OW- Not- OW- Again!" He splashed through a wall of liquid poop and continued his painful trip down the well. Now of course these magic wells have the power to transport a person to any point in space and time. But none of this occurred to the massive shitting, pissing, vomiting mess that was the former demon hunter- even as he made it to the bottom.

Inuyasha reached the end in an upside down position and found himself stuck. The bottom half of his pant-less body was still in the well, while his top half was on the outside. And what Inuyasha saw he could not believe-

Space- he couldn't see a single star- just empty black space in every direction. What he was seeing was perhaps the most amazing sight any living being could ever hope to see.

The magical well had brought him to the center of the universe at the very beginning of time. Had Inuyasha known this, his reaction might have been different.

"What the fuck is this shit? There's nothing here- this is stupid! Where the fuck am I- King Kong's gaping asshole? This is the gayest thing I've ever seen since House of Carters- GYYEEAAAH!-" Just at that moment, the falling diarrhea caught up with Inuyasha and funneled towards his open anus. After falling all that distance- the diarrhea was now traveling at the speed of a bullet. All the shit poured back into his rectum and up through into his body. Inuyasha made a face as if a giant crap just funneled back into his asshole and he was about to explode.

"Tom Cruise please save me-" The resulting explosion in Inuyasha's anus was the biggest explosion in the history of everything. In fact many scientists have referred to it as The Big Bang. All the matter that ever and will exist was shot into every direction of the universe and Inuyasha was sent spinning at a million miles an hour screaming obscenities about Nick Carter the whole way.

"AAAAAAAAGGGH! United they stand! Bah- what does that even mean- AAAAAAAAGHHH! You're a bunch of retarded brothers and sisters! AAAAAAAAAGH! Hansen at least played instruments- AAAAAAAAAAGH! All you people do is bitch and cry at each other, and no one gives a shit about your pathetic life goddamnit! AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGHHHAAAARRGHGHHAGAHREGH!"

Time began. Matter continued to expand and form galaxies. The universe as we know it began. And Inuyasha's asshole was now a gaping, bleeding crater dripping with crap. His face was a battered and bleeding mess from slamming into the well so much. He still couldn't see his dick- and despite that it's something no one has seen in years- save Sharokamon, the demon burrito, it still pissed off Inuyasha.

Finally, he got bored of screaming and ranting about MTV's newest worst show ever. He looked around and assessed his current situation and realized it was increasingly lame. He was just flying through the universe- no porn, no beer, no chicken pot pie, no naked Kagome. There was nothing at all- not even basic cable.

"Nope," he said. "This is even gayer than House of Carters."


	6. Adventurous Travels

**Chapter 6: Adventurous Travels**

(_Subtitle: Punching Bag! Inuyasha advises a friend )_

For several days Inuyasha tumbled through the universe, fresh from creation. As he went about on his cosmic journey, planets were created every time he shat, and from his gas were the stars. Indeed, the longer Inuyasha flew, the larger the universe got. It was expanding at a rate higher than any god could keep up with.

As universal law dictates, and large solid mass with water must eventually produce life, and Inuyasha became a small planet. Though the civilization growing in his belly button did little to attract the attention of their "God" for the time they were cultivating. For thousands of tiny millennia (about 4 hours in Iny's time) did this little culture exist - nay, _thrive_ - hidden under the safety of Inuyasha's stomach rolls.

"What the fuck is that itch!" complained Inuyasha. "I hope it's not like the rash on my asshole from shitting so much without wiping. That green one. Christ - **that** feels like a monkey is crawling out of my anus by chewing his way out...A monkey with horrible teeth...one where whenever he opens his lips and it's like a booby trap...I don't like it when monkeys open their mouth and it's an battle of epic proportions going on."

Inuyasha giggled. "That Dane Cook is a silly bitch"

Suddenly, Inuyasha heard a weird little sound coming from his stomach. "I know I haven't eaten anything in a while, but when my stomach gurgles it makes more of a dump-truckish noise, not a pussy giggling noise." With a wheeze and a grunt, then a "I got tired and gave up for awhile" short nap, Inuyasha woke up and lifted up his stomach rolls to take a look at his hardly-seen belly button.

"OH...MY... (BURP) GOD..."

Inuyasha was witness to an entire civilization for the first time. Buildings, fields, crops, peoples, animals - a whole world had begun growing in Inuyasha's belly button (and indeed, had begun spreading out). "Holy flippity fuck - that's gotta be the worst rash I've ever gotten!" yelled Inuyasha in disgust. Even worse than the "purple rectum menace" of '03!"

He struggled to lift his arm, initially intent on scraping the shit off. When lifting his arm up gave him a heart attack, Inuyasha figured "Fuck it".

Keep in mind that Iny is currently in a weightless environment. Oh, and for those of you wondering how he can breath in space, remember that large masses can support atmosphere, so Inuyasha has a constant supply of ozone around him at all times.

"Hey! Hey you bitches!" yelled Inuyasha. "None of you are demons, right? Otherwise, I have to slay you! But I'm tired so I don't wanna fucking have to, y'know, fuck up your shit."

A small dot began separating from the rest of Inuyasha's rashy civilization. As Inuyasha began focusing his gaze, he could make out a small humanoid creature...

"Can you hear me, master!" cried the dot.

"That's GOD to you, assholes. And of course I can fucking hear you - what else could possibly be grabbing my attention: the NOTHING ELSE going on?" replied Inuyasha.

"He can't hear you, idiot. He can only hear a REAL man - now speak louder to our God before you offend him again, queer!" yelled a second dot.

"Who the fuck was that number one?" asked Inuyasha, amused.

"My name is-"

"I don't care," replied Inuyasha.

"Yes God," replied number one. "And that vision of loveliness was my wife, Lau-ugh, number 2?"

"It was a fuckin' chick? Man, that bitch was right; you are a queer, uno," replied Inuyasha. He followed that up with a burp, which almost blew number one away.

"I''m sorry if I offend you-"

"Fuck yes you offend me," screamed Inuyasha. "You offend every man ever, queer-mo. Now listen up, here's how you handle this kind of abuse. Take me and Kagome for example; no one gave me a punching bag when I was growing up, so I figured I'd marry one instead." replied Inuyasha, smiling...

For days and days, Inuyasha floated through space, picking up speed with every fart he ripped. And the whole time, save for heart attacks and naps, he spoke to his number one, training him in the ways of manliness. Every night, Uno -as he had come to be known - went home and beat his wife, and demanded she make him pancakes, and shit on the floor and in the couch, and drink, and stop wearing pants, just as his God had instructed him. And lo, the teachings spread; men everywhere on Inuyasha's green rash had taken to manlying up their lives. The women had had enough after awhile, though, and had begun to plan a revolt against their God. When Inuyasha found out about this, he did the manliest thing any of them would ever see...ever.

"Well, can't have you bitches thinking or doing stuff besides making waffles", he said. And then, the mightiest burp the universe had ever known erupted from Inuyasha's throat. For six days and seven nights did it go on, taking as many lives as it could until all were lost. By the time Inuyasha had stopped, he had blown the entire rash off of his body.

"Guess I showed them bitches", he thought. "Fuck - what the hell am I gonna do now?"

After a few minutes of thinking, Inuyasha begun thinking about his furry porno mags and began to beat it again, spraying it all over space (there's a reason it's called the Milky Way folks). After 3 heart attacks however, he gave up on that, too, and just decided to nap.


	7. The Epic Cosmic Discovery

**Chapter 7: The Epic Cosmic Discovery**

It's difficult to think how someone could get tired out in a weightless environment, but Inuyasha found a way. Despite the fact that he was merely floating and not exerting himself in any way, he still managed to have seventeen heart attacks throughout the rest of the day (which was a Friday actually- the day he always looked forward to because his furry porno mags always arrived on that day, but not that it mattered anyway in a time before the earth even existed and there was no living species in the universe yet (save for the civilization that had risen and fallen (and the remains of which still existed) under Inuyasha's stomach rolls) and the concept of night/ day didn't even exist for there was nowhere FOR it to exist.)

Pondering this complex and confusing concept gave Inuyasha another heart attack. He 'fixed' it the way he always does- by punching his chest until his heart starts back up again, in its lazy four beats a minute routine. That usually does the trick- except for the times it doesn't- in which case Inuyasha will pass out and as he does- the weight of his layers of fat will fall onto his heart in sequence, sort of acting like a respirator, and will start it beating again. So in fact- Inuyasha lives in a sort of semi-invincible state where his heart will keep beating no matter how much it wants to die.

So despite being in this horrendously boring state of floating around endlessly, with no food or entertainment, Inuyasha's stomach had enough food stored on reserve to keep him alive for years for years. The only benefit to this was the fact that he also had excess gas on reserve so he could unleash a sequence of farts which would change the direction he was floating and send him to different parts of the universe which was slowly filling up with stars and planets.

He would constantly complain to himself about House of Carters, Kagome, how Quentin Tarantino is overrated and other things of that nature for no one else to hear, like an internet nerd's blog. Inuyasha had no idea what part of the universe he was in, where he would end up and IF he would ever get there.

Days went by…

Weeks….

Months? Years? He couldn't tell, he had lost all sense of time. It was impossible to tell in this timeless and ageless universe…

Each one of his bladder and bowel movements would fill an empty part of the universe with life. Even with no food, the amount of weight he lost was minimal- but Inuyasha was still proud of it. He still couldn't see his wiener but if he dug through his fat rolls he could see to the 9th roll down, which he was SURE was the one just above his penis. But regardless of that, the time finally came when Inuyasha spotted something in the darkness. It was long and tubular and seemed to shoot off endlessly into the universe.

Inuyasha made sure every one of his following farts was correctly delivered to propel him in the direction of this tubular object. With lots of effort and countless heart attacks, Inuyasha was finally able to fart his way across the universe until he finally reached:

"A magic fucking well!" He yelled out with surprise, 'Fuck YES!" He blasted one more fart and entered the well headfirst. Once he was inside, the magic of the well took over and he began falling again. This trip through the well was just as painful as the last one- with Inuyasha constantly smashing into the stone sides of the well, scraping and bruising up his body and face. One brick wasn't built into the side of the well correctly and it was sticking out a bit. Inuyasha smashed his eye on this extruded brick giving him a severe black eye.

"Who the fuck built this well and left that brick like that! Who the fuck built that- I'm gonna drop a diarrhea donkey in their ear! Wait, how the fuck was this built anyway." Inuyasha had another heart attack as he fell thinking about this, but the smashing against the well resuscitated him. In all the panic Inuyasha released a waterfall of diarrhea which filled the well.

Meanwhile Shippo was walking around a nice grassy area enclosed by a fence. A few trees littered the yard and there was also… a stone well. As Shippo was skipping around like a down syndrome child with no feet, he heard something rumbling in the well.

"Oh gee- I wonder if this is another magical person from a far off land-" he poked his head over the edge of the well and was immediately blasted in the face by an erupting geyser of diarrhea. This was followed by the enraged bellowing of an obese man with ears. Inuyasha flew upwards out of the shit storm and hit the ground next to the well with the impact of a meteor- nearly pulverizing Shippo. "Oh Jiminy strudels! It's Inuyasha!" Inuyasha looked up slowly- face battered and broken, covered in numerous layers of his most disgusting bodily fluids.

"You" he pointed at Shippo. "Shitpop. Where the fuck are we- I've never seen this place before."

"Silly Inuyasha!" he replied, "This is your backyard!"

"Back-what?"

"You're backyard! And that's your house!" he exclaimed pointing to the house. "Hey Inuyasha! Where were ya man! And why are you so poop covered? And where are your pants?" Inuyasha moaned, turned around and sat on Shippo, who uttered his last scream with futility.

"Shitpop is so fuckin gay. What a shit character," he said to himself and made his way towards the back door of this house. He didn't in fact believe it was his house until he entered it and saw Kagome still lying on the kitchen floor naked and possibly dead. This was mildly shocking but the main thing going through Inuyasha's mind was- 'banging a possibly dead Kagome would be too difficult right now,' so he just beat off onto her face and then went into the living room and fell asleep on the couch.


End file.
